'If you want it done, do it yourself': Neighbor demands removal of a tree from shared backyard but refuses to help pay for it, claiming it's too expensive

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 8, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Ever heard of the phrase – 'If you want something done right, do it yourself?'. Well, some people want things done but refuse to do anything to make it happen. Those are the kind of people who constantly complain about everything and everyone around them but never do anything to help or change the situation. 

I don't know much about the person in this Reddit story, but he sounds a lot like the person described above. OP (original poster), writes on Reddit that she had a fallout with one of her neighbors after he came up to her and her husband while they were renovating their house. The neighbor demanded that they would remove a tree that was bothering him and that they should pay for it themselves. OP, who didn't understand why she should be the one to be doing that since the tree wasn't bothering her, immediately refused, which led to quite an unpleasant neighborhood atmosphere.

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  • 01
    AITA for telling my neighbor if he wants a tree on our property gone HE needs to pay for it?
    via u/rosexknight
  • 02
    My hubby (35M) and I (31F) have had our house for about 7 years now. It's on a quiet residential street and even though we have a few neighbors, we don't often talk
    via u/rosexknight
  • 03
    much and are just friendly to one another. One of my neighbors, we'll call him Jack, has a garden. He shares a fence line with us and on our side of the fence against it is a small tree. I don't know what kind it is
    via u/rosexknight
  • 04
    (dogwood maybe??), but it's a pretty full tree with lots of leaves. We're getting some work done on the house (painting) and while the contractors were there, Jack was talking to my
    via u/rosexknight
  • 05
    husband and I about what we had planned for the house and yard, etc. He asked us if we were planning to take any more trees down (we had to take a dad one down not long ago and have gotten rid of some
    via u/rosexknight
  • 06
    brush), and asked specifically about the tree on the fence line. Now, we don't care one way or other about the tree so we were like "Oh yeah well maybe if it starts being an issue for the fence (chain link) we can
    via u/rosexknight
  • 07
    relocate it or something." etc. But he kept pushing, insisting that relocation was expensive and young trees de and all that. He was a bit condescending.This was not the first time he's asked us about
    via u/rosexknight
  • 08
    this tree and he's made other backhanded comments to our contractors about us and gotten them to try and take down the tree behind our backs. Not sure what his deal is, but our other neighbor has complained about him too.
    via u/rosexknight
  • 09
    Finally I said "Well if you want the tree gone so bad you'll have to pay for it." I meant for it to sound joking but I think it came off harsher than I meant. My hubby laughed with me at the joke, but the neighbor got mad
    via u/rosexknight
  • 10
    and kinda excused himself from the conversation after that. I asked my hubby if I had overstepped and his agreed with me. If HE wants the tree gone HE can pay for it. My hubby thinks the reason he
    via u/rosexknight
  • 11
    wants the tree gone so bad is because it blocks sunlight to his garden. Jack could just TELL US that, but he didn't. He didn't even offer to go 50/50 on relocation with us or anything.
    via u/rosexknight
  • 12
    He was just making passive- aggressive comments like he knew better than us. My hubby says what I did was fine but I'm not so sure. I want to be on at least decent terms with our neighbors, and picking
    via u/rosexknight
  • 13
    a fight over a tree just isn't worth it. I'll absolutely not be doing anything to the tree, but I do feel bad for the tone of my words. So, AITA?
    via u/rosexknight
  • 14
    EDIT: Yes guys I know the part of the yard in this pic of the tree and fence I posted is messy. The entire house is a fixer- upper and that included the yard. We've spent the last 7 years working on it, and believe it or not this is cleaned up from
    via u/rosexknight
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 9904665600
    via u/rosexknight
  • 16
    last year. It's all an ongoing thing as we get the funds to get stuff. We're not rich, and we can only do big projects once a year or so. This year we'll be painting the house. The fence line is just as we get to it, but we do cut the grass regularly, just a little behind on it rn.
    via u/rosexknight
  • 17
    StAlvis 17 hr. ago Galasstic Overlord [1676] NTA , that's hugely more generous than I'd be. Frankly, I'd need a Good™ reason to even consider getting rid of a perfectly fine tree in the first place.
    via u/StAlvis
  • 18
    But he kept pushing, insisting that relocation was expensive and young trees die and all that. Is it even sick? WF is his problem?
    via u/StAlvis
  • 19
    rosexknight OP 17 hr. ago We've looked at it and no, it definitely seems healthy. I thought it was damaging the fence somehow but that doesn't seem to be the case. The only thing I can think of is that it blocks sunlight to
    via u/rosexknight
  • 20
    his garden. Here's a link to a pic of the Tree and Fence, and if you look at the far right you can see where his garden kinda starts with a hoop over some of his plants. Couldn't get a full view of the garden though because he was out working on it and didn't wanna get him in the pic lol.
    via u/rosexknight
  • 21
    JazzyCher ⚫ 17 hr. ago NTA it's a perfectly healthy tree, you have no reason to remove it, if he doesn't like it he can kick rocks. However, I really don't like his comment that young trees often de, he might
    via u/JazzyCher
  • 22
    plan on poisoning the tree through the fence to try to Klit himself if you won't remove it. Keep an eye on him and the tree, just in case. You never know what people will resort to in order to get what they want.
    via u/JazzyCher
  • 23
    KronkLaSworda 17 hr. ago Sultan of Sphincter [864] NTA, and I agree with your husband. Dude was making passive aggressive comments about the tree as well as aggressive aggressive actions "gotten
    via u/KronkLaSworda
  • 24
    them to try and take down the tree behind our backs". He needed to be put in his place, like all bossy people.
    via u/KronkLaSworda
  • 25
    Karl-Farbman · 17 hr. ago NTA. If you think it's the sun factor in their yard, maybe plant a few more trees along the fence line
    via u/Karl-Farbman
  • 26
    RoyallyOakie 17 hr. ago Judge, Jury, and Excretioner... NTA...he's the problem. You were actually pretty nice. Now he knows that you won't be pushed around.
    via u/RoyallyOakie
  • 27
    Swirlyflurry ⚫ 17 hr. ago Supreme Court Just- NTA [100] He can relocate his garden if it is such a problem.
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • 28
    Brainjacker 17 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [27] Not removing or relocating a tree because your neighbor passive- aggressively hints you should does not make you an AH. NTA
    via u/Brainjacker

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Tags

aita neighbors drama neighborhood dispute neighborhood-drama reddit story silly entitled Bad Neighbor Reddit funny weird entitled people
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